…whatever you say it is.

Driving along the interstate the other day, I ended up in something of a traffic jam; evidently there had been an accident earlier, and speeds were in the “I can walk faster than this!” realm. Even though I would be late to an appointment as a result, the slowdown suited me. I had an old recording of Jack Canfield in the CD player, and he was saying some interesting things. I wanted to listen, and now I had the time. I can’t say I was jubilant over the traffic situation, but I was…content.

As I looked around, though, I couldn’t see any fellow drivers that were sharing anything that even resembled what I was feeling. I could see a what looked like a mother and daughter in an argument, a man yelling at his cell phone, another tapping the steering wheel with an obvious look of impatience on his face. The driver in front of me would periodically swing toward the median to see what the holdup was and when it would be over. The woman behind me was yelling at her windshield and was travelling so close behind me that, had I stopped abruptly, she would have had my trailer hitch stinger for an iron-rich afternoon snack. I guess she thought her little car could help my truck move a little faster.

I relate that story because it illustrates my point perfectly. I was in control of what I was feeling. I chose to feel contented instead of angry. I wasn’t letting my outside circumstances control my emotions.

Are you a puppet?

My oldest son (14) came to me the other day, fuming mad. His ears were even red—no joke! He said, “My little brother is making me so mad!”, and then went on to tell me how his brother was doing all sorts of things on purpose, just to make him mad.

I looked at him and said, “This must be a monumental day in your brother’s life, wouldn’t you say?”

Puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

“He has you dancing like a puppet on strings, doesn’t he?”, I asked. “He pulls one string, you jump one way. He pulls another string, you dance the other way. He must be enjoying the power he has over you, don’t you think?”

Blank stare. “He does not have any power over me!”

“Son, all he has to do is do something that he knows you’ll be angry about, and you’re just like the puppet. What if he did whatever it was he did and you didn’t get angry? Would that pop his bubble or what?”

A tiny grin. Very tiny. “Yeah, it would, Dad. But it’d still make me mad.”

“Well, that’s your choice, isn’t it?”

I can’t say that I convinced him, but he did lose his obvious anger at the situation.

So, I ask you: are you a puppet? Do you let other people or outside circumstances control what you feel and when you feel it? When you actually stop to think about it, does it make you feel good that you’ve allowed people or events to control your emotions?

Since your emotions are such an important part of manifesting your desires, doesn’t it make sense that you learn to control them a little better?

Here’s your challenge: when you next find yourself in the grip of an emotion that doesn’t feel good, take a moment out. Grab some skin from the underside of your arm and twist. Take a break. Then ask yourself, “Just who’s in control here?” If you don’t like the answer, say to yourself, “I choose not to feel over what’s happening here. I’m not a puppet, am I?” Then choose a more empowering emotion to feel. You may not make it all the way to feeling good, but any move up the ladder toward a ‘feel-good’ emotion will be an improvement.

Remember that your mind is the only thing you have complete control over. Remember that you can control it, if you practice at it. If you keep this concept in the back of your mind, soon you’ll come to the place where you’ll begin to recognize immediately when your emotion isn’t quite what it should be. Then that anger you feel will only last for a second or two until you get control of it. The YOU can be the puppet-master of your own life.