One of the biggest difficulties that we encounter when we embark on the path of self-improvement is the tendency to, once we find we can make changes in our lives, try to change everything at once.

While this is possible, (see Tony Robbins’ distinctions on identity) what usually happens is that the pile of what needs changing is so high that we get discouraged before we even start.

So don’t do that. Duh.

Choose 2 or 3 changes that, at this moment in time, you feel most excited about being able to make. Then change those things.

Then choose another group, make the changes, and then another group.

One bite at a time. If you choose the areas that you are most excited to make a change in, and keep your change-it-now list at a manageable size, the mountain that needs to be scaled doesn’t loom so large.

Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” I am not a fan of overused quotations; the impact, especially of inspired thought, is diminished–unless time is taken to reflect upon what was said, rather than thinking, “oh, that is profound”, and continuing with the day.
I think few of us question the accuracy of Thoreau’s observation.

Why is it so, then?

I believe it has much to do with the absence of purpose. An absence of a goal to strive for–a mountain to climb, a river to cross–induces a buried hopelessness, the persistent question, “Is this all there is?” One’s answer to this internal question determines whether one’s life is led in ‘quiet desperation’–or quiet determination.

Those people who live mostly in desperation do so because they’ve been, deliberately or not, blind to the fact that they can steer their own lives, and not merely be adrift. One can be the tillerman of one’s own lifeboat, so to speak. Determination of one’s destiny need not be left to fate, or chance.

That one has control over one’s life can be, is, a frightening thought and one that many run away from. If responsibility is taken, the cost is high–it is the knowledge that responsibility for failures goes hand-in-hand with the responsibility for success. Rather than taking the blame for failing, it is much easier to lay it at the feet of ‘chance’ or ‘luck’ or outside circumstances.

But the price of refusal to ‘take the wheel’ is also high: a life led in ‘quiet desperation’.

I was double-tagged. My apologies to Pam at Walking My Own Walk, who “tagged” me on Nov. 30. For some reason, I didn’t see the link until today…sorry! The other came from Wendy, at eMoms at Home. I’m going to cheat and handle both tags at once

So for Pam, I’m supposed to write 5 things that people may not know about me (which is not hard because most of you don’t really know me), then send this around to 5 other peeps. For Wendy, I’m supposed to post a picture that was taken right then (which I couldn’t do), say why I looked the way I did, and say something about who tagged me.

Well, here goes:

1. A long long time ago, I was about a month away from being awarded shodan in Shotokan Karate Association of America [yikes! it was a long time ago] (SKA). I had the distinct privilege of being decisively knocked on my ass by the person mostly responsible for introducing karate in the US, Mr. Tsutomu Oshima.
2. I spent years racing enduro bikes, before deciding that I liked my body in its less damaged state. My last dirt bike was a Husqvarna 400WR. I now officially have dirt bike fever again.
3. Until about 2 years ago, for a period of 4 or 5 years prior, my hair was usually 18″ long or longer. See lower picture, which also shows my wife, Victoria
4. I am set, this year, to learn to snowboard after years of skiing. My two boys, 14- and 12-years old, have shamed me into it. But, they will find this: anything they can do, *I* can do better. I’m DAD, right? This, I think, is gonna hurt…
5. I have ridden on a float in the Fat Tuesday parade in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. ‘Nuf said.

Oh, my picture? I had one of the kids snap it. I’m with my ever-present major-league size Starbucks coffee cup. And no, that is not paint in my beard. I either need to turn it all white or get some Grecian formula or something, eh?

About Wendy. Wendy rocks.

I haven’t come up with anyone else to tag quite yet, so be watching your links…