Did you know that it’s estimated that almost 20 million people in the United States are ‘clinically’ depressed? And that many people that could be considered as depressed don’t know it? They don’t know that what they’re feeling isn’t normal, that they don’t have to feel this way. Clinical depression means depression that isn’t caused by a recent trauma of some kind. Severity ranges from mild to major, depending on the symptoms and the impact on the sufferer’s daily lifestyle.
What I’ve got they used to call the blues
Nothing is really wrong
Feeling like I don’t belong
Hangin’ around
Nothin’ to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down— Rainy Days and Mondays, The Carpenters
Depression isn’t the ‘Monday morning blues’, or having a ‘down day’. Clinical depression, whether mild or major, is a pervasive, potentially serious illness. It can have profound health consequences as well as having a great impact on day-to-day living. Severe, major depression can completely immobilize a person, even causing a complete withdrawal from daily living–or a withdrawal from actual living, in the case of suicides.
Consequences of depression can include:
- increased risk of suicide
- an increase in the production of stress hormones like cortisol
- decrease production of sex hormones and reduce sex drive
- can cause permanent memory damage if untreated
- increased risk of stroke, asthma, heart disease, cancer, pneumonia
- an elevated risk of returning to addictive behaviors such as smoking, drug use, or drinking
- aggravated feelings of anger and hostility
So, if depression isn’t just ‘the blues’, what is it? How can a person recognize that they may be suffering from actual depression so he or she can take steps to deal with it?
What depression is and isn’t
The following symptoms come from the psychiatric ‘bible’: the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the book that mental health professionals consult to diagnose mental conditions.
A mild disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been, a psychiatrist, psychologist, mental health practitioner, or even a health practitioner. The information contained in the following articles is based solely on my own research of online and offline materials, additionally on personal experience with major depression. If, after having thoughtfully read this post, you feel you may be suffering from major or clinical depression, I urge you to seek competent help from a health practitioner.
Severe depression can be characterized by the experience of 5 of the following 9 symptoms for a period longer than two weeks, and that you haven’t experienced a major traumatic event in the last 18 months, such as the death of a loved one. In other words, it’s not just ‘feeling down for a couple of days’, and it isn’t completely caused by recent emotional trauma. In addition, in order to be classified ‘officially’ as depression, at least one of the first two conditions must be present. If at least one of those conditions isn’t present, it’s not likely that you’re suffering from depression–but there might be something else going on. That’s why it’s important to not try to deal with depression by yourself. There may be an underlying medical cause for some of the symptoms that needs to be addressed.
9 Symptoms of depression
- deep sadness or a feeling of emptiness or apathy nearly every day for the past 2 weeks or more
- diminished interest or pleasure in all or nearly all activities for the past 2 weeks or more
- a decrease or an increase in appetite, causing you to lose or gain more than 5% of your body weight
- sleep differences of more than 40 minutes from your norm, either more or less
- agitated or irritated with yourself or others, or physically moving slower than you usually do
- extreme fatigue or loss of energy
- feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt, or a feeling that you’re just not useful any more
- a diminished ability to think or concentrate, or having trouble making everyday decisions. A decrease in your ability to make sound decisions
- recurrent thoughts of death, or having seriously contemplated hurting someone else. Serious contemplation of or attempting suicide.
NOTICE: please — if you are currently having serious thoughts or plans for suicide, please, please, get in touch with a health practitioner. You can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis.
In the next article, we’ll explore those symptoms in a little more detail. In later articles, we’ll discover some of the causes for depression, and some of the things that can be done to lessen or eliminate depression.
This article is the first in a series about depression: how it can affect you, ways you can recognize it, and some things you can do about it.
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I know I have a serious problem. I have had suicidal thoughts and dreams of my death for more then 10 years. This illness has kept me from having a “normal” life and I have pushed away everyone who gets close to me. I have a good career but worry that I may soon lose that too due to my numbness and loss of memory. I know I need to get professional help but dont exactly know where to start. How to you tell someone about your depression and how do i know they will even take me seriously. I couldn’t bear the ridicule
Start with the phone book. Mental health professionals will NOT ridicule you when you look for help. They, above all people, know the serious effects of clinical depression.
They will NOT tell anyone you know. YOU don’t have to tell anyone, either. Whatever you tell a doctor stays with the doctor. They don’t go blabbing all over town. You are protected by law in this, so put that way down on your list of worries.
If you can’t afford to see a private professional, check the county or city government agencies in your phone book. Call them and see what options you may have. Do it from a pay phone, if you want.
But do it. Today.
There are some things, Cindy, that are very difficult to handle on your own. This is one of them. It doesn’t mean that you’re incompetent or weird, or weak-willed. It doesn’t mean anything negative. It means that it’s time to reach out a hand to those who are willing and able to help you. You are not an island.
Please. Call someone TODAY. You’ll be so glad you did.
Listen to this song, and its message:
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’d understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me…
“Lean On Me” by Bill Withers
Ten years ago, the man to whom I was engaged committed suicide. I have never been a big fan of life, and after he died, I didn’t see much reason to stick around, missing him terribly.
I didn’t leave this life only because I am not ‘free’ to do so. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, so have a social and moral obligation to stick around and raise them. But, oh, once they’re raised, I’m outta here!
It’s strange that while most people see it as a success that I’ve stuck around and raised my kids (they’re almost old enough to be independent now), no one WANTS to see that I simply don’t like being alive. I miss my boyfriend, don’t like working for a living, am not terribly atractive, don’t have enough money to really enjoy life, and find every day to be a burden. I feel like a failure for NOT saying F#$K EVERYBODY! It’s my life and I don’t want it anymore! Every day that I stay alive is another day that I’ve lived for other people.
People tell me to be glad for my health. I tell them that my health is the problem!
I find it amusing that my oldest child hates me and often wishes me dead. So I stuck around to raise a kid that wishes I was dead? How ironic.
It’s insulting to have so many people insist that anyone who does not like to be alive has a disease, a mental illness. I’m not mentally ill…I don’t like it here!
I detest that I must spend so much of my time doing things that bore me to tears and make me angry…work all blessed day at a job so that I can pay rent and buy food so that I can go back to the blessed job the next day. Work extra hard so that I won’t get fired, only to receive a poor review and no raise. I have ADHD so I am not good at structured jobs, but unstructured jobs don’t pay enough to raise two kids with a deadbeat dad. I buy my kids nice things and make sure we live in a safe neighborhood where they can make friends and go to good schools, only to have them yell at me and mess up the house and threaten me with child protective services, and tell their friends what an asshole I am. Listen to them bicker bicker bicker and fight over doing the smallest chore. Pick up the slack from my ex leaving them totally to me to raise and support.
Get up tomorrow and do it all again.
There are some people who just don’t like the human experience and want out. I am one of those people.
I’ve done the shrinks. I’ve done the antidepressants (gained 75lbs!). I’ve done the family counseling. I still don’t like it here. And I still have to go to work tomorrow.
I’m not going to leave the planet just yet, because there’s still an obligation to those kids (whom I don’t love anymore, they have just worn me out with their mean, selfish behavior) yet, but I look forward to the day when I can say “Sayonara!” and find some peace.
Maybe my late boyfriend will be there to greet me. It’s something to hope for, anyway. At least he loved me.
Well u really do love ur kids but u just cnt take this anymore. Trust me i understand just trust in god and u will b ok. He never gives us more than we can handle!
Sue i understand exactly what you are or maybe going through but you wouldnt have written that if you didnt want help or want someone to talk to. Im sure no matter how you look you will always be gorgeous to someone. When you say you dont want to be here any more i know exactly how you feel hun because thats how I feel each and every day of my life. I may not have two kids or a deadbeat job, but i do understand. This may be crazy but i am a 13 year old female and every day of my life i just want my pain to stop i want it all to end.
I to have an obligation to stay here because im afraid that if for one minute i leave my family will fall apart. Last year my mom tryed to commit suicide and for the longest time i told myself that it was my fault, When in reality its no ones fault that someone else is depressed its not your fault nor mine that me and you just dont wanna be here. Sue i think the fact the you put your kids into thought before actually killing your self and i very much so think for that you are a good parent and im sure that your kids love you but they are at that age where there going to tell you that they hate you and its all your fault.
Dont let them ruin what progress you have made in life and with every day i wish for there to be something to bring you a smile and that there is one thing to make you appreciate that god put you here for a reason. Take care and Sue send me an e-mail some time and we can talk more.
becca_boo_2010@hotmail.com
With all the love in the world ,
Rebecca Lynn♥
I too feel like you do, but you say your not mentally ill but just do not like life anymore, I would love to give you words of cheer, but I won@t I suggest you spend some time working in a morge looking at some of the dead bodys that cannot move anymore, also you should get a job in the morge reception and see the pain on the faces of the familys that have to identifie there loveones due to natural death or suicide if at this stage you still whish to commit suicide then maybe you cannot be helped, but theres something you are missing, do you really think that anyone can take there own life and just get away with doing such a thing, I DONT THINK SO, your life is not yours to take. TRUST ME
IM WITH YOU SUE..AND THAT’S REALLY SAD.
BUT I DONT REALLY HATE LIFE… ITS JUST THE PEOPLE THAT I HATE. I AM ANTI-REALITY. SOMETIMES I NEVER WANTED TO WAKE UP ANYMORE. I DONT KNOW IF “GOD” OR “JESUS” IS HELPING ME. IM TRYING TO HELP MYSELF BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH. ITS REALLY TOUGH LIVING UR LIFE WITH PEOPLE WHO DOESNT REALLLY SEEM TO CARE AT ALL.. AND MAYBE WHEN IM DEAD I HOPE ILL FIND THE PLACE WHERE I TRULLY BELONG. COS THIS WORLD IS FULL OF HATRED AND ANGER FOR SO LONG.
Yeah well I have all the symptoms for a few years now everyday. I have never broken a law, hurt anyone or been a bad person. My ex has 4 of my 5 children and won’t let me see them or even talk to them. He bonded out of jail and even got away from homeland security. Being kept from my children is killing me…I can’t stand the pain anymore and no one cares or will help me..I am nothing now..I tried fighting the only ways that I knew and it was not good enough. I will not make it much longer..the depression is destroying all that was good in me…Even God does not hear my prayers anymore…THis is hell
i hate mylife at the moment due to the fact im just 19 and i got pregnant by my ex last year and not once did he visit me and now i called him and said that i gave birth to his daughter where i really and truly i has a miscarriage so one of these days imma drink myself to the mood of sucidal …just gonna jump of a building ….man i dnt knw why i feel like this and me n him where only 2gther for a lil bit but i cant believe me made me feel like this…. i know ur probably finkin stupid young girl but nooooo.
Kelly,
I`m sure your a beautiful young lady and you have a lot of life ahead of you. I1m sorry for your lose and that your ex is an asshole but here it is. Love is a connection between to people or many people or things and it doesnt matter if its a person you just met on the street but if you love that person losing them in anyway is going to tear you apart. a broken heart can always be mended and you will find love again but in the mean-time spend some time looking at the stars take a trip to somewhere you have always wanted to go. And Kelly write down how you feel in a journal and when you dont feel like this anymore i want you to go back and look at what you wrote and remember that if you could make it through that pain you can make it through the rest of life. Take life by the balls and show life who the boss is.
With love always♥,
Becca Lynn
@Kelly –
Stupid young girl? No. You’ve made some mistakes, we all have. We all DO. Try very hard to find some help. It’s not easy to raise yourself up from where you are all by yourself. There are a lot of community and free programs that really CAN help you deal with what’s going on in your life. PLEASE seek them out. People WANT to help you. Let them.
sorry. couldn’t read it all. i know depression. it gets me often.
nearly fifty now.struggle out my last years and let it be over.
not suicide. suicide thinks it owns me, it doesn’t. one thing i’ve mastered, suicide needs a better reason, many of life’s things elude me, suicide can have me when i’m terminal, cancer or something. dealt a bad hand. couldn’t amount to shit. message to all mothers, everywhere, love your children the consequences are serious. i wouldn’t piss on mine. nasty self centered fucker. still thinks the world should revolve around her. never gave a fuck about me. beat me to a pulp and broke me before i was three. beat me into my teens. hate her with passion that description defies. i was a child. i was innocent. victim of depression. now depression has me. evil stops behind me. break the chain. pray for cancer.
Im 15. and i know us teenagers have our whole life ahead of of. but honestly i dont see myself living to the age of least 20. depression. it can be anything about anyone abuot something i dont know. but i do know is ive been depressed since i was 12. before that i was a happy kid. i loved life. and everything in it. but after i turned 12 things just got me down… ive planned so many ways of killing myself just havnt tried it yet. hang myself. jump off the westfield.run infront of a carr. jump into the deep end of the sea. you could say im fucked but dont blame me. this is what depression is doing to me. yeah im 15 but like i said i dont see myself living to the age of 20. one day when my mum wakes up and come and wakes me up for school. she’ll find her daughter who has O.D on pills. or slit her throat because she is over life and everything in it. We get one life. i dont know why god gave me mine.
To all of you wishing for death! I have wished for death to come upon me for years because I couldn’t take what life had offered me either. But… you don’t live in a fish bowl! There is an entire world out there to see and new experiences to have if you give them a chance. I know because I have done it. I have a daughter who tells me she hates me all the time when she isn’t getting what she wants from me (not what she needs but wants). I have another daughter who was diagnosed anorexic and I watch her slowly killing herself daily by her refusal to eat or seek treatment. Being an adult she has control over her medical treatment at this point. To top that off, just a couple of days ago she was diagnosed with cervical cancer! I can tell you people that when you leave this earth, you may end your suffering but you just begin the suffering of the people who love you. I know because I am watching my daughter die every day and I suffer deeply! I love my daughter and cannot imagine life without her. If you take nothing else away from what I tell you, take this… you will be missed and you will inflict pain on the people who love you. Seek treatment, if it doesn’t work the first time, keep looking until it does, get out there and life life. God gave you your life to do with what you want (its called free will). Don’t sit in that fish bowl and wish for something better. Get up, dust yourself off and start over today. It’s never over until it is over.
“Get up, dust yourself off and start over today. It’s never over until it is over.”
It’s a cliche now, but it’s true. Just do it. No one is going to get help for you. It has to be you. You have to take the first step, reach out. There IS someone out there willing to extend their hand to help. It may take a little bit of effort to find them, but they’re there.
Thanks for the comment, Mindy.
Ever since my kids been out of my life Ive been really depress,but for some reason I believe in knowing I can realize in times I can catch myself wanting to make me a better person.. JUST DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF BECAUSE IF YOU DO YOU WILL FALL DEEPER THAN WHAT YOU THINK
I am 21 and a recent college graduate, I thought once I graduated my life would really start. To be honest, my life has basically come to a screeching halt. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.
I was born with a cleft-lip and pallet so I have never been “normal” all through middle school and high school I was constantly ridiculed for the way I look. I would often attempt suicide but always wake up, or wouldn’t fully go through with it.
Then, I moved from Chicago to Tampa to go to college and start over. I met an amazing guy, who I love more then anything. Well, since I am doing nothing with my life after graduating because I cannot find a job anywhere I have been drinking a lot to ease the pain. And I haven’t been the best girlfriend after 4 years of being together. So we got into an argument and he left me, he packed up all his stuff and left and won’t even answer the phone for me.
Just last night I attempted to kill myself and ended up in the hospital but convinced them that I didn’t mean to overdose it was an accident so they didn’t keep me for 3 days. I told myself today that enough was enough and this depression cannot control me any longer, but it is now 12:18 and I am crying uncontrollably because I have no control over my life.
I just want to find a job in order to make my parents proud and I just want to hear my boyfriends voice one more time. I just don’t want to feel so alone anymore. I swear I cannot feel anything but pain inside my chest. I also just witnessed a man crossing the street and getting killed by a car and in my mind I wished that I was him, I wished that was me getting hit. I just feel like I have nothing left to live for no job no love and no one at home to go and talk with and on top of all of that I have no insurance so I cant go to a doctor. I don’t know what to do anymore or where to turn.
One thing I’ve come to realize over the years is that life is what you make it. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes you screw it up. Sometimes it makes no sense at all.
You have complete control over your life – you just have to come to grips with that fact. You may think you’re spiraling out of control. You might be, a little bit. But it’s never too late to grab hold and keep going. It won’t be a joyride, I can tell you. Some days will be better than others. I think my favorite saying, at least this month, is this: “Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.” It’s what you do with your statue days that’s going to determine where you’re headed.
The first thing I’d suggest you do is open the phone book. There are a number of community groups and agencies that would love to help you – if you ask, and if you let them. But you have to take the first step. Stop being a victim, stop being a statue.
Steph,
what you said really touched my heart i cried while reading this to me you sound like and amazing young lady,and theres only one way to find what you really needstop looking You have so much to live for. I would really like to talk to you more and actually get to know you so if you wouldnt mind maybe you could send me an e-mail and we could chat more becca_boo_2010@hotmail.com.
With all love i can give♥,
Rebecca Lynn♥
am 16 years old i have been depress for at least two years now and i start having obsessive thoughts my parent dont get it and everyday i feel my chest is sbout to pop out and i feel a short in my breath .i also discover that since my depression i find it easy for me to hate people than to love them am kinda scared since i always have those thought that my life is short and i fell a change in my heartbeat it kinda beat faster
Jean Francis, I have no answers for you, except to urge you to reach out until you get some help. You don’t have to do this alone.
People who’ve never dealt with depression really don’t “get it”. They don’t know what it’s like, they don’t understand. You have to get to someone who DOES understand. That’s where you’ll find help, and that’s where you’ll find HOPE.
During the past 6 or 7 years my life started to fall apart all of a sudden, i always had no confidence cause i look alot younger than my age im almost 22 now, i have the worst relationship with my parents whenever i feel sad or try to tell them any of my problems they just make fun of me, and then all of the people i have in my life started to walk away till this day, and now i have no friends, a family that couldnt care less and everyone just takes me for granted like im a kid and some makes fun of me, im really trying hard to keep intouch with the few people i have but nobody replies back..nobody cares or wants to be a part of my life and i never did anything to anyone,my problem was just that i was always too friendly with everyone. and now im about to graduate from college soon which is also a horrible chapter in my daily life and i just lost all the hopes that i had before.. i cant find a job or any girl to like me cause of the simple fact that i look young, i lost interest in doing all of the activities and im always stuck in my room thinking my life is over and it havent even started yet, im still young and i dont want my life to end now.. i just dont know what to do anymore
i have been depressed lately. idk what to do. i havent been myself. i have been thinking bout dying sometimes. and i barely sleep or eat. i need help. i feel like im alone with nobody out there to help me. im confused and sad all the time
i feel like everyone that i loved has left me and i have nobody else. what do i do. i wish i could hqave a good life. i miss my love ones and i wish they were here with me right now
Your not alone. I posted the first comment on here almost 2 years ago and still trying to live with this illness. I have lost two friends/coworkers to suicide and I still think of it often. I have tried medication and it didn’t help. I know some say keep searching for the right medicine but I’m not fond of doctors and death would actually be better then living my life on meds and constant doctor visits. I have a wonderful person in my life but that doesn’t keep these thoughts out of my head. Then I not only feel depressed but guilty for involving him into my world of insanity. No one here needs to feel alone because it may be different reasons we are here but we are all on the same boat. Email me any time. Youins27@aol.com
i just wanna die.. since age 12 and now age 20, always wanted to die. i tried to kill myself once, but my sister found me and stoped me. no one knows the reason why i hate my life. i have this disease and due to that i was smokin for 2 years. i cry sometimes alone to release it. if i was dead i wouldnt have the problems i have now. i want to be happy. now my deppression is getting worse coz me and my boyfriend broke up. i really loved him and he left, he doesnt talk to me anymore.
Hi am 23 married and i have 1 daughter 2yrs old and i had a love marriage am very depressed cause eveytime me and my husband fight he hits me and i feel like i dont have the courage to do anything. He is verycontrolling and since am an Indian girl we are told not to leave the house but i did course for 12 months midical assistant but i dont wana work i feel like am gona kill my self and i try to do everything but i cant i give up easily and my parents dont support me since i ran away from home and got married to that guy but am stuck and i find no door to get out cause am even scared to leave the house i wish somebody can hold my hand and make walk tht tough road but i know dreams dont come true
Hello everybody.
My friends say I’m always mad and depressed and their right. Im about to turn 12 and I’m to young for it. My parents got a divorce and I’m ok with it. My mom gives me so much stress its horrible, my lungs hurt and it feels like I’m going to fall. I’m to young to have depressen but sometimes I get on my crazy side and forget it. Please give me feed back……..
Nichole- Can you talk to your mom about your feelings? I remember similiar feelings when I was your age the pain of seeing my mom upset at things and how it effected me so much. Maybe someone at school a counsler or a teacher you trust. I have suffered from depression longer then I’ve admitted and I stayed silent about it while hurting so bad on the inside. Talking does help.
I don’t even know why I’m doing this… but I just wanted to let it out… there’s no one else to talk to… so here it goes..
I’m 13 and have been diagnosed with depression since around fifth grade. My parents didn’t do anything about it and nowadays, they don’t even notice. They don’t care and are too unobservant to notice anything about me. I feel worse every day and recently have stopped sleeping… I don’t know why. I just… can’t. And I’m afraid to tell my parents or talk to them about it. They blow up at the smallest things. I haven’t slept in about two days as of now, which actually is pretty good compared to usual. On the days I do sleep, I get maybe 1-3 hours of sleep total a night. I feel desolate and alone usually throughout the day and am not a very ‘attractive’ girl. Never had a boyfriend and little to no attention in that field. I have a poor self image and am usually picked on in school, which makes it worse, though I’d never tell my classmates this. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have no life outside of my computer, school, and books really. My life feels like it’s… I don’t even know. I feel like Im drowning these days. And I’ve actually recently noticed that my grades are slipping. : / My parents took me to therapy a few times, though not for this reason or anything related to it. I stopped going, I lost interest in it and just didn’t want to go anymore. My parents complied and went on with their normal lives. They don’t even care about me, or so they make it seem, and they always treat my brothers differently. I’m the middle child and the only girl. You think this would make me special to them or something, but I usually feel that I got the short end of the stick. Sometimes I think about just ending this life, when I think about, (as stupid as this sounds), all of the books left unread and the future I could have ahead of me. I do have some will to live, though that might just be my fear of physical pain. I’ve been hiding how I feel for so long, no one notices anything wrong with me anymore. Or maybe they just don’t care, I really don’t know. Anyways… I’ve nothing else that I’d like to type. I’m sorry for randomly ranting on about next to nothing. I just needed to get it out and it’s better that it’s somewhere my parents or people I might know might see it. Thank you.
Megan, thanks for visiting and sharing.
I am not a therapist or mental health professional, so consider the following worth what you paid for it…
The one thing I’ve found most helpful in what seems like my lifelong struggle with depression is to have a clear purpose beyond myself. In the depths of depression, my thoughts always turned inward, and stayed there. Only when I shifted my thoughts away from ME and on to a greater purpose or goal was I able to operate at anything remotely resembling what I considered to be ‘normal’.
13 is a difficult age, very difficult. You’re occupied with school, and occupied with yourself – starting to grapple with the questions, “Who am I and what am I here for? Is there a purpose for me being here?”
I can’t answer to the first, but to the second, I’ll give you this: your purpose is what you decide it is. To some, that may sound secular and simplistic. But I’ll lay odds you know exactly what I’m talking about. You have the power to decide what your life is and what it will mean.
Why not make it something BIG?