The Power Of Pain
Tony Robbins says, “People will do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure.”
Dan Kennedy says the most reliable approach to selling is to generate some pain in the potential customer: “…This is where the marketer’s greatest opportunity lies: exploiting others’ quiet (suppressed) desperation; their private pain. You see, most people do not like their jobs, their relationships, their lives or even themselves. The savvy marketer understands this and is willing to peel back a scab and rub salt in it to motivate someone to action.”
Seth Godin’s Purple Cow Redux marketing strategy does the same thing–creates a little pain in the reader: “If this were actually milk, it would be pasteurized and homogenized. Pasteurized involves heating it up to kill any new organisms inside, while homogenization involves mixing it to make it all the same. If this sounds like your organization, perhaps you need this book.”
I am obviously not a savvy marketer. When I talk to people about my web design business, or other endeavors I’m taking on, I try to get people excited about what I offer. I try to go from the pleasure side. “Look how you’ll benefit by …”.
Honestly, it doesn’t work very well.
I’ve paid attention to what Tony Robbins says. I know that I’m more likely to achieve results if I associate a lot of pain to the behavior I’m wanting to change. But I missed the connection from a marketing view.
Kennedy continues, “…This is where the marketer’s greatest opportunity lies: exploiting others’ quiet (suppressed) desperation; their private pain. You see, most people do not like their jobs, their relationships, their lives or even themselves. The savvy marketer understands this and is willing to peel back a scab and rub salt in it to motivate someone to action.”
This goes against my grain. I don’t feel comfortable causing people pain intentionally, even if I have the cure.
On the other hand, I know that few people focus on what they want, even if it’s pleasurable. Most of their time is spent focusing on what they don’t want. Kennedy reminded me of this:
It’s worth noting, by the way, that very few people can clearly describe what they want - which, incidentally, is why they don’t get it - but most people know what they don’t want. Rubbing their noses in what they have that they dislike is much more effective than holding a carrot out in front of them. You must make people feel miserable before you can liberate them. Whether selling a kitchen appliance or an annuity, selling to mom at home or the CEO in the tower, you must create despair to ready the person for your solution.
So the question is, “Do I do what works, modifying my own pain/pleasure rules to accommodate that, or do I continue to fail in my marketing efforts?”
I know what the answer is. But still, I resist.
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Aaron M. Potts on March 23rd, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Steve,
My wife and I were on the way to a party one night, and we were discussing how so many people that we know are not willing to do what it takes to effect positive changes in their lives, even though they know how to do so.
I frequently express stark disbelief at this truism of the human existence, and, seemingly without really giving it any thought, my wife busts out this little gem:
“In order for people to change, the pain of change must become less than the pain of staying the same.”
*I’M* the motivational guru in our house, and I just sat there and stared at her in awe…
In reference to your dilemma, it is another unfortunate truth that people have to have their noses rubbed in the pain of staying the same before they truly realize how horrific it is to do so.
I empathize with you, Brother!
p.s. - Your post reminded me of the conversation that night, so you’ll likely see a blog post from me about this. Thanks for the inspiration!
Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. on March 23rd, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Hi Steve,
I feel your dilema… I am not one for rubbing somone’s nose in their pain - even if that is what the “experts” say. I agree with Aaron’s wife… change happens when someone feels that the pain of change is less than the pain of the status quo. Still… I am not sure it is my place to rub salt in someone’s wound or to push someone to the point that they are ready to make a change.
My intention is to serve those who want my help. I believe that my marketing efforts are to get the word out there so that those people I am meant to serve can find me. Offering general information about the types of pain your business can help people eliminate is good, but to specifically rub someone’s nose in their pain seems extreme. Perhaps I am naive or foolish, but these are my thoughts.
Steve Johnson on March 23rd, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Aaron — what your wife said is awesome and so right on!
Kirsten — My intention is the same as yours. Possibly I am taking what was said to extremes; maybe that’s what bothers me. There’s a fine line somewhere?
lee on March 28th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
As far as marketing and selling, the issue is talking to people who are going to buy what you are selling. Those are the folks whose pain you have a solution for. So, it’s not finding a prospect’s pain, but finding a prospect with a pain for which you have the solution. Of course, that’s much easier said than done.
In a strange way this distinction works on ourselves, too. When you know you need to change something in your life and you don’t do anything about it, it’s not necessarily that you’re weak. I’ve found in my own life this usually means that I have misinterpreted the situation. Either I don’t really know what I want to change, or I haven’t found what the specific solution is. Usually, that results from applying other people’s solutions to my problems instead of taking the time to ferret out my own issues.
I hope this makes sense! Anyway, thought provoking post.
Steve Johnson on March 29th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
lee, you’re exactly right. And it is much easier said than done. But it changes the equation from ’selling’ to ‘finding’. I
thinkknow there are some people out there that need what I can provide. It is only my job to find them. It may be a large haystack with a few needles, but they are there, if I keep looking.Thanks for the comment!