It’s always a challenge for me to live now. To enjoy what’s here. It seems I’m always looking ahead to later. Christine Kane reminded me in Why Your Ego Loves Airline Delay (unintentionally, I’m sure, but who knows?) to do what Mac Davis advised so many years ago: stop and smell the roses along the way. I could see myself in her description of what she observed when her plane was delayed:

I paid attention to the people around me as we de-planed. I listened to what they were saying. I heard the following words and phrases: “Well, this day is ruined.” “They’ve screwed me out of an entire day.” “Ridiculous.” “I hate small planes.” “I hate Charlotte Airport.” “Ridiculous!” “This sucks.” “Five f-ing hours!” “I should’ve just gone to Chicago.” “Ridiculous.”

Reading it reminded me of a story I read in Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, The Power of Intention:

Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk. The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter,” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws. The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interupted yet again twenty minutes later by an hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology. When the scene is repeated for a third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?” “Very simple,” replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so damn seriously.’” “Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.” After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”
“There aren’t any.”

Stop taking myself so seriously. When I do that, my day seems to go a little better. Why don’t I do it more often? Like all the time? Something to work a little more on, maybe?

Pam at Make the Most of U wrote a great response (and tagged me in the process) to Aaron Potts’ request for ‘Simply Successful Secrets’, an interactive research project that he’s started (which also included me, I see, but I missed the request somehow).

I really like seeing discussions like this, because when I start to think about the questions, I notice areas in my thinking that could use improvement or even complete overhaul.

Take success, for instance. When I first thought about how I would respond, my initial thought was, “I can’t answer this. I’m not successful.” Then I proceeded to list to myself all the reasons why I don’t think I’m successful (remember—the mind will give what you ask of it): there’s bills that aren’t paid because I’m not taking the actions that I should take business-wise because my brain is so messed up and there’s so much baggage that I can’t get around because I’ve tried everything I know and nothing’s worked because I’m no good at this stuff because I don’t try hard enough because I’m not worth anything…

Short story is I let myself go way off the deep end. After I realized what I was doing (it took a while, I’m not perfect), I made a herculean effort to change my internal conversation. “When I am successful, what do I do?”

“Nothing. You’re not successful.”

“Shut up. I am too. Get back in your cave, little man. Brain: what do I do when I’m successful?”

After some back and forth, the angelic little man on my other shoulder (remember the football field scene in ‘Animal House’?) told me things that I do when I’m being successful. So here’s my list, in no particular order:

1. I am.

This is the ‘being’ part of the have, do, or be anything you want in goal setting. It’s not exactly what most goal-setting coaches have in mind when they say it, but I think it comes first. Before you have and do the things that the person you want to be has and does, first you have to be that person in your mind. If you don’t know how that person would be, find someone you can model. Or find several people and take the best qualities of each.

2. I read daily.

I read constantly. Books, blogs, etc. Used to be, before I was successful, I read fiction books. I was absolutely hooked on action/suspense books. Tom Clancy, Dan Brown, J.D. Robb, etc. I still read those occasionally, when I want a little break. But now I read things that help me reach for new possibilities. As a matter of fact, part of my herculean effort above was to read. I read, front to back, a book named The Greatest Networker In The World, by John Milton Fogg. It was intended as a training tool for network marketers, but is more of a training tool for life and life changes. I highly recommend it.

3. I exercise regularly.

Lately, irregularly would be a better description, but I still do. My little spider-bite ordeal kept me from being as active as I like to be, but I have substantially recovered from that so it’s not as inhibiting. I go to the Y a minimum of 4 times a week; more if I can get there. Sometimes I work on the stair machines and treadmill, sometimes walking on the track, sometimes swimming. When the kids go, it’s all swimming. That’s the best workout I get, truthfully. My kids could wear me out!

4. I spend time with my goals.

I’m building on my vision board, which resides on the wall to the left of my computer monitors. I have my goals written down (do you?), and I spend some time throughout the day visualizing them, sometimes modifying them if they’re not quite right.

5. I spend time with myself.

In the morning, I make a special point to think about the things in my life that I’m thankful for. If I can’t think of more than 4 or 5, I know it’s time for an attitude adjustment. I also take an hour or two each day to read, to work with a Neuro-Programming program I picked up, and some time in my version of meditation. I’m not very good at the meditation thing yet, but the NP program is helping that. I’m finding it challenging to quiet my mind. It seems like it’s always going. During meditation, I accept the thoughts that enter, dismiss them, only to find that another has taken its place. Meditation is a work in progress for me.

6. I do something to promote my business.

One of the areas that I could do better in. This, truthfully, is where a lot of my personal work is taking place. Talking to people, learning to be comfortable in selling situations, just doing something. My comfort zone has not included direct interaction with other people. So, I’m improving that, little by little.

7. I spend time with my family.

Part of this is necessity: we homeschool our kids, and that does take a chunk of time during the day. There’s also piano lessons, recitals, nightly reading, RC airplanes, and of course our twice-weekly jaunts to the YMCA. I used to be a hermit in the computer room, and my family life suffered. Now it’s better. Focus, you know.

So…

…while I’m not yet what most would term wildly successful in some areas, that will show up in it’s good time, when I’m ready for it. I understand that. All I can do is what I know — then watch, and adjust.

That’s all any of us can do.

Thanks Pam and Aaron for the shoulder tap. I’m not going to tag anyone specifically, but I would enjoy comments and linkbacks telling me what YOU are doing to be successful in your life. If you don’t think you are, tell me what you would be doing if you were successful.

The opponents of the principles described in the movie The Secret have been out in force ever since the Oprah shows. I have to tell you–it is so entertaining! The most fun part of reading, listening, and watching the ‘naysayers’ is that with most of the arguments, they’re actually showing that the Law of Attraction, or intention/manifestation, or whatever you want to call it, is working!

For instance, in this CBS News video clip with James Arthur Ray and Scranton University psychology professor John Norcross, Harry Smith, the moderator, directs this at Norcross:”This just sounds a lot like the little engine that could: ‘I think I can, I think I can…’ Is there any harm in that?”

“Sure there is,” Dr. says. “Let me count the ways. First, if you’re reading The Secret, you’re being led away from other demonstrably effective treatments and self-help resources. Second, when it doesn’t work, people start to blame themselves and become demoralized. So when your cancer doesn’t remit [sic], schizophrenia doesn’t disappear, and you continue to be blind, you say, ‘It must be something in me’. This is just outlandish claims.”

My first reaction to hearing that was, “Oh boy. Here we go again. ‘There, there,’ he says. ‘It’s not your fault’.” He was trying to tell me, “Listen–do you not understand that you have something wrong with you? It’s not your mind that causes this condition you have, it’s not your fault, and it’s not your mind that will cure it, it’s not you that can cure it. It’s not your job to cure it. It’s mine. Only I can. The great and powerful Oz. medical doctor.”

Oops. Sorry.

The funniest statement the good professor made was this: “There is always spontaneous remission, there is always the placebo effect. We need to show The Secret does more than that. There is no reliable scientific evidence to show that the Law of Attraction or the secret works.”

Can science explain spontaneous remission or the placebo effect? Not that I know of. I suppose it didn’t even occur to him that the mind could actually be causing the remission, or causing the body to act as if it had received a drug. Nope. We can’t prove scientifically that the mind has any effect, so we can’t even entertain it as a viable cause. All we have are questions and observations. That’s evidently not enough.

Ray relates the case of a person that he’s worked with that made major changes in her life. Smith says to Norcross, “…There are instances like that where these things happen where folks sort of get their lives together from looking at a DVD or reading a book like this.”

The professor’s response? “Well, of course, but we don’t know that’s causedly the case. You know, Mr. Ray and other proponents of The Secret keep talking about ‘cases’. ‘Cases’ are not science. We need randomized clinical trials, the same thing we do in medication studies, to show this is due to it.”

Here’s another gem from another interview, again from a psychology professor: “It’s just old hot air in a new balloon.”

Scientist types can be so idiotic. Scientist types can be so blind to what’s in front of them sometimes. Reminds me of a race horse with blinders on.

Have a wonderful deliberate day!