Do you really know what you want? Or do you just know what you don’t want?

Big difference here. Major. Profound.

You don’t want to wear the red shirt to the party tonight. What do you want to wear?

You don’t want the bills any more. What do you really want?

You don’t want to be fat. What do you really want?

Get clear what it is you do want

This is so important. You’re putting your order into the warehouse. “Don’t send me this.”

Does the warehouse ping you back and ask, “Okay, what should I send you?”. Nope. It just takes your order. But it loses the “Don’t” part. It doesn’t work on “do” and “don’t”. It just works on “send me this”.

So get clear on your goals–what you want. You have to be focused here on what you want. You want prosperity, not ‘to get out of debt’. You want fitness and vitality, not ‘to not be fat’. You want confidence and enthusiasm, not ‘to not be afraid’.

Easier said than done, but it’s vital to your success that you get it done this way. If you keep thinking in “don’t wants”, that’s what you’re still going to be getting.

Work on it. Master it. It will change your life. Guaranteed.

When a new, inspired thought comes into your mind on how to achieve something you want, what is your next thought? Is it, “Wow! That’s fantastic! I’m on it!”? Or is it something like this, with a dejected look, “That’ll never work. I’m too [ugly/short/fat/stupid/lazy/broke/tall/skinny]. That’s just not me.”

Don’t answer. I know what you’ll probably say, if you’re being truthful.

Don’t you think it’s time to get past that?

My challenge to you: when a new idea pops in, immediately write down 10 ways that you can get it done, or reasons why you can do it. Brainstorm a little. Give yourself a little credit, eh? You’re resourceful. Use your resourcefulness to come up with a bunch of reasons. Then write them down. That’s important.

Your knight in tarnished armor

There’s always going to be the little guy on your shoulder telling you all the reasons why you shouldn’t try something. That’s ok. He’s there to protect you. He just doesn’t know that while he may be protecting your ego, he’s hurting you in ways he doesn’t know. So–tell him to be quiet. Say, “Thanks for your concern, but it’s time to go back to your hole now.”

One more word of advice on the little guy: don’t hold conversations with him. Tell him to go away, then give no more attention to him, at all. Giving him attention makes him stronger. Withhold your attention, and his voice will diminish. It will get so soft and squeaky that when you hear it, you’ll laugh. You can thank him for his efforts, and put him back in the closet.

Give your attention to what you want

Back to the positive. When you’ve finished writing your list of reasons, don’t throw them away! Keep them in front of you, and add to them. Give attention to this list of why you can. Concentrate your thinking there. Write more reasons down when you think of them–and think of them you will, when your attention is on why you can.

I’m going to hammer on these again, because a) I believe that in spite of all the learning that I’ve done, they are still my challenge areas, and b) I believe, through observation and talking to people, that many other people are having the same challenges.

So what are these two ingredients? Goals and belief. More specifically, a clear and concise goal that resonates with you, and your belief that you deserve it and in fact already have it.

I tend to get caught up in the details–how do I accomplish this (whatever it might be). I tend to forget that if I am absolutely clear on what I want, and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is already on its way, that the how will appear. It won’t take any intensive head-banging to find a way. It will pop right in front of my eyes and all I’ll need to do is to walk through the door.

Of course, there is the question of how to develop effective goals, and how to develop unshakable beliefs. The solution, though (even though it may be a somewhat circular path), is to know that the means to develop those skills will be in front of you when you need them and are ready for them. It may be that you’ll see a blog post that brings forth a new idea or new way of thinking or it may be that you’ll see a book and have the feeling that you really should read this. Your job is not to make it happen, but to let it happen.